Tuesday, October 27, 2009
6 Quick and Powerful Tips on how to solve a problem
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”Albert Ellis
“Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles; they toughen and make you strong.”Norman Vincent Peale
“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.”Richard Bach
Are you having a problem in your life right now?
If so, maybe these six quick tips can help you to solve it a little bit easier.
1. First, ask yourself: is there really a problem here?
Often we create problems in our own heads – as I mentioned a bit in an earlier post things may not be as bad as we think – that aren’t really out there in reality. So relax a bit. And think about if this is really a big problem.
As yourself - Is it something that will matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? Or even in five days? Life becomes so less stressful when you stop making mountains out of molehills (or just out of thin air).
2. Accept it.
When you accept that the problem already exists and stop resisting then you also stop putting more energy into the problem and “feeding it”.
Now it just exists (well, more or less, you might still feel a bit down about it). You can use the energy you previously fed the problem with – the energy that probably made the problem look bigger than it was – to find creative solutions to the challenge.
3. Ask for help.
You can ask people for advice on what to do and what they did in similar situations. But you can also ask for more practical help. You don’t have to solve every problem on your own and sometimes it feels better to have someone by your side, even if it is just for emotional support.
If you just ask you may find that people will often be willing to help you out.
4. Use 80 percent of your time to find solutions.
And only 20 percent to complain, worry and whine. It might not always be easy but focusing your energy, time and thoughts in this way is much more beneficial for you and others than doing the opposite.
5. Break the problem down into smaller pieces.
Solving a problem can sometimes seem overwhelming and impossible. To decrease anxiety and think more clearly break the problem down. Identify the different parts it consists of. Then figure out one practical solution you can take for each of those parts. Use those solutions.
They may not solve the whole problem immediately, but these solutions can get you started and might solve a few pieces of the problem.
6. Find the opportunity and/or lesson within the problem.
I have found that there is almost always a positive side to a problem. Perhaps it alerts us of a great way to improve our business or relationships. Or teaches us how our lives perhaps aren’t as bad as we thought.
Finding this more positive part of the problem reduces its negative emotional impact. You may even start to see the situation as a great opportunity for you.
When you are faced with a problem ask yourself:
-What is the good thing about this?
-What can I learn from this?
-What hidden opportunity can I find within this problem?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
How To Instantly Feel Better When You Are Depressed
Life is full of setbacks and heartache.
The difference between unsuccessful people and successful people often comes down to one thing: mental toughness.
You can be someone who lets failure derail you, feel like a victim, and tell “your story” of defeat to everyone you know. Or you can do the most difficult and healthy thing of all: move on and try a different approach to accomplish your goals.
Here are three mental tricks I suggest you use to feel better when you want to give up.
1. Give Someone A Genuine, Massive Compliment
The reason this technique works is that it takes the focus off yourself. It’s easy to become self-centered and overly focused on your problems until you realize something very important: EVERYONE feels like this at times. EVERYONE is insecure about something. You aren’t alone, and I’ve found that one of the most therapeutic things you can do is make someone’s day. Totally out of the blue, give them a massive, genuine compliment.
It can feel a little bit weird to do this over the phone, so I usually cheat and send a text message.
To someone who goes to the gymn trying to lose weight, I might say “I’m so impressed at your determination, you’re getting better, Keep it up!”
To someone I saw at a party last night I might say, “I don’t know what it was about you last night, but you looked really classy/confident/beautiful/etc for some reason. Whatever you are doing, keep it up!”
To someone who has an important interview/game/speech coming up I might say, “You’re going to do great, you’ve worked really hard for this and you deserve it!”
Your goal should be to make them blush or fill them with confidence. Make someone else’s day with a massive genuine compliment to take the focus off of yourself and you’ll start to feel better right away.
2. Be Thankful For What You’ve Learned
No matter how bad it is, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much money you lost….the lesson you learned from it is FAR more valuable, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
Even if someone TOTALLY took advantage of you or did you wrong, take a minute to actually thank them in your own mind or out loud. You can bet it will feel strange and it will go against every instinct in your body, but thank them for teaching you such a valuable lesson.
It will make you much stronger next time.
When a supervisor took advantage of me one time over some commission deals, I was filled with anger and frustration. Most of all I was mad at myself for letting him do it. I ended up taking him to the management which caused even more frustration and lost sleep. But in the end I was able to thank him for teaching me such a valuable lesson.
If I hadn’t had this setback, I would be just as naive. I wouldn’t know how to get a rock solid contract next time. I wouldn’t know to inspect the contract more thoroughly before making my commitments!
The money I lost on that deal has taught me enough to make it back tenfold down the line. It was worth every penny in education.
3. Read Some Books and Quotes from the Greats
Finally, when I’m feeling down I like to read some books and quotes from some of the most successful
people of all time. This is a great reminder that EVERYONE must face setbacks. In fact, it is a pre-requisite for success. There is no record of anybody accomplishing anything without MANY setbacks and failures along the way.
Setbacks let you know that you’re making progress.
Here are a few of my favorites:
Success is the ability to move from one failure to the next with enthusiasm.- Winston Churchhill
Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line.They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown. - Ross Perot
Every single peak performing human being, every single high achieving man or woman, has been a person who has thrown off the natural tendency to play it safe and stay within the comfort zone, and has continually tried to exceed their previous levels of accomplishment, has continually moved forward into the risk zone, to try something more and bigger and better and more important.
Every single accomplishment in the history of man, has come from men and women who have had the courage to take the risks, to step out even though they had no guarantee or assurance of success…
In studying the lives and stories of the most outstanding men and women of all in history, we find that every single one of them has been a great failure. People do not understand the importance of failure in achievement. The fact is that it is impossible to succeed without failing, that failure is an indispensable prerequisite for success, and that all great success is proceeded by great failure. Every single person who has tried to accomplish something outside the ordinary has suffered a setback and obstacle and defeat and adversity and disappointment and heartache
over and over again as they have moved toward their goal. There is no record of anybody ever having achieved any kind of success without having failed over and over again. The only difference is that the winners continually pick themselves up and carry on knowing that ultimate success is inevitable as long as they keep on going on. - Brian Tracy
Life isn’t an easy journey, and the measure of a true champion is not how far you go, it’s how far you bounce back after facing defeat.I wish you the best.
The difference between unsuccessful people and successful people often comes down to one thing: mental toughness.
You can be someone who lets failure derail you, feel like a victim, and tell “your story” of defeat to everyone you know. Or you can do the most difficult and healthy thing of all: move on and try a different approach to accomplish your goals.
Here are three mental tricks I suggest you use to feel better when you want to give up.
1. Give Someone A Genuine, Massive Compliment
The reason this technique works is that it takes the focus off yourself. It’s easy to become self-centered and overly focused on your problems until you realize something very important: EVERYONE feels like this at times. EVERYONE is insecure about something. You aren’t alone, and I’ve found that one of the most therapeutic things you can do is make someone’s day. Totally out of the blue, give them a massive, genuine compliment.
It can feel a little bit weird to do this over the phone, so I usually cheat and send a text message.
To someone who goes to the gymn trying to lose weight, I might say “I’m so impressed at your determination, you’re getting better, Keep it up!”
To someone I saw at a party last night I might say, “I don’t know what it was about you last night, but you looked really classy/confident/beautiful/etc for some reason. Whatever you are doing, keep it up!”
To someone who has an important interview/game/speech coming up I might say, “You’re going to do great, you’ve worked really hard for this and you deserve it!”
Your goal should be to make them blush or fill them with confidence. Make someone else’s day with a massive genuine compliment to take the focus off of yourself and you’ll start to feel better right away.
2. Be Thankful For What You’ve Learned
No matter how bad it is, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much money you lost….the lesson you learned from it is FAR more valuable, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
Even if someone TOTALLY took advantage of you or did you wrong, take a minute to actually thank them in your own mind or out loud. You can bet it will feel strange and it will go against every instinct in your body, but thank them for teaching you such a valuable lesson.
It will make you much stronger next time.
When a supervisor took advantage of me one time over some commission deals, I was filled with anger and frustration. Most of all I was mad at myself for letting him do it. I ended up taking him to the management which caused even more frustration and lost sleep. But in the end I was able to thank him for teaching me such a valuable lesson.
If I hadn’t had this setback, I would be just as naive. I wouldn’t know how to get a rock solid contract next time. I wouldn’t know to inspect the contract more thoroughly before making my commitments!
The money I lost on that deal has taught me enough to make it back tenfold down the line. It was worth every penny in education.
3. Read Some Books and Quotes from the Greats
Finally, when I’m feeling down I like to read some books and quotes from some of the most successful
people of all time. This is a great reminder that EVERYONE must face setbacks. In fact, it is a pre-requisite for success. There is no record of anybody accomplishing anything without MANY setbacks and failures along the way.
Setbacks let you know that you’re making progress.
Here are a few of my favorites:
Success is the ability to move from one failure to the next with enthusiasm.- Winston Churchhill
Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line.They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown. - Ross Perot
Every single peak performing human being, every single high achieving man or woman, has been a person who has thrown off the natural tendency to play it safe and stay within the comfort zone, and has continually tried to exceed their previous levels of accomplishment, has continually moved forward into the risk zone, to try something more and bigger and better and more important.
Every single accomplishment in the history of man, has come from men and women who have had the courage to take the risks, to step out even though they had no guarantee or assurance of success…
In studying the lives and stories of the most outstanding men and women of all in history, we find that every single one of them has been a great failure. People do not understand the importance of failure in achievement. The fact is that it is impossible to succeed without failing, that failure is an indispensable prerequisite for success, and that all great success is proceeded by great failure. Every single person who has tried to accomplish something outside the ordinary has suffered a setback and obstacle and defeat and adversity and disappointment and heartache
over and over again as they have moved toward their goal. There is no record of anybody ever having achieved any kind of success without having failed over and over again. The only difference is that the winners continually pick themselves up and carry on knowing that ultimate success is inevitable as long as they keep on going on. - Brian Tracy
Life isn’t an easy journey, and the measure of a true champion is not how far you go, it’s how far you bounce back after facing defeat.I wish you the best.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
15 inspirational quotes
I’ve always have this penchant for inspirational positive quotes. It’s amazing what those mere strings of words can do. Seemingly simple. Yet interestingly profound.
Indulge in the tranquil moment as you read with both your eyes and heart.
Remember, eyes may provide sight. But it’s the heart which gives insight.
Enjoy.
1. “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”– Hellen Keller
2. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there” - Will Rogers
3. “You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”- Christopher Columbus
4. “To a brave man, good and bad luck are like his left and right hand. He uses both.”- St Catherine of Siena
5. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Dr Wayne Dyer
6. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”- Thomas A Edison
7. “When you get to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on.” - Franklin D Roosevelt
8. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill
9. “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” - Confucious
10. “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi
11. “There is nothing more genuine than breaking away from the chorus to learn the sound of your own voice.” - Po Bronson
12. “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” - Waldo Emerson
13. “The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” - Benjamin Mays
14. “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” - Michael Jordan
15. “After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.” - Nelson Mandela
Indulge in the tranquil moment as you read with both your eyes and heart.
Remember, eyes may provide sight. But it’s the heart which gives insight.
Enjoy.
1. “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”– Hellen Keller
2. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there” - Will Rogers
3. “You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”- Christopher Columbus
4. “To a brave man, good and bad luck are like his left and right hand. He uses both.”- St Catherine of Siena
5. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Dr Wayne Dyer
6. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”- Thomas A Edison
7. “When you get to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on.” - Franklin D Roosevelt
8. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill
9. “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” - Confucious
10. “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi
11. “There is nothing more genuine than breaking away from the chorus to learn the sound of your own voice.” - Po Bronson
12. “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” - Waldo Emerson
13. “The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” - Benjamin Mays
14. “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” - Michael Jordan
15. “After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.” - Nelson Mandela
